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28 Apr 05 Shark or Goldfish ... 27April. I recieved a call from an art student of Fine Arts Department, CUHK. He's now carrying out a survey or maybe research on the money issue of Hong Kong artist. "Is the money you have enough, just enough or not enough for your living and artmaking?" I hesitated for a while ... and said "It's may be just enough ..." He then asked two or three more questions and hung up the phone. 27April. late afternoon. I recieved a call from the sovereign art foundation and asking me when I'll arrive at IFC for the opening ... "... around 7pm" "Could you try to be arrived at 7pm?" " ... no problem." 27April. around 7.30pm. A gentlement asked "How would you use the money?" I said "... I don't know ..." 28 April. around 1.30pm. Another gentlement asked "How much would you have?" ... "How would you use the money?" I said " I don't know ... may be use to support my art creation..." ... I haven't give my mom any money for several months. Usually I works for half a day in a week, sometimes may be a whole day. To be honest, the money issue always bothers me. Every time when I'm gonna have an exhibition, I have to spend certain amount of money (not a small no.) for the materials, production and many many more. Sometimes, I could have the artist fee to cover these but generally, we ( I mean most artists, Hong Kong artists ... I should say Hong Kong young artists) have to pay all the expense. Sorry mom, Sorry that I'm not a lawyer or a doctor. I'm also not Daimen Hirst. I couldn't buy a shark ... I could just buy a goldfish.
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13 Apr 05 'Intellectuals don't start revolution. They just build library.' I heard this from Godard's Notre Musique and of course I heard more but just can't remember all of them. If it is true, then I think intellectuals in Hong Kong really like shopping and that's why the Central Library built like a shopping mall. (of course, it was actually designed by the 'archiects' from building department. May be they really built it but never design it.) Demonstrations against the Japanese happened in mainland China for several days and from the tv, we can see that most of the protestors appear to be very infuriate and some of them are even quite irrational (In fact, we don't know what they were doing outside the cameras or may be it's just a film/ tv drama produced by the media). To be honest, I have the similar feelings with them. There's something inside my head/heart wanted to be screamed out (but probably I would be complained for making noise or using swear words *&%@*(#%^@*%@$_&&!@*%#*(!^#%*(!&#%_!&$%^*(!$__*&_*%^LKJGH#%!*%_&^$LJK!%)!(#%^ ... ) This kind of demonstrations happen regularly among these years but ... sadly (or may be not), Chinese people have never grown up. "Stop buying Japanese goods", throwing stones & eggs, hurting Japanese people ... after several weeks, they forgot everthing and when the Japanese "re-write" the history again, all the same things come out again ... after several weeks, they forgot everthing and ... Sometimes, it's good to be simple-minded but we have to grow up, right? (not just physically) How about the intellectuals? ...... O! I saw them in the tv! They talk about this and talk about that. Talking about why it happened, why the government allowed it ... What a 'clever' man! (O! I'm in front of the tv ... ) I'm glad that it's not summer, otherwise, another "revolution" may broke out. Someone asked me "Do you know why the French Revolution broke out in July?" ... "I don't know. " ... "because it's the summertime and you know, it's too hot in that year and the French couldn't endure!" ............ o, well ... summertime .... June? Then, who start the " revolution"? ... politican!? ... I suddenly remember Hitler. I'm not sure he's the ideal politican for someone or not (I don't think politican would dare to say he's their idol but who know what they're thinking inside their heads.) but he's definitely the best actor (Tony Leung, sorry that you can't beat him.) and the best speaker in the history. His sound, his gesture ... just can made all the German believed him totally and voted for him! voted for him! voted for him voted for him! (the power of election and democracy! O! ... ) How about those in Hong Kong? ... do you believe them? ... do you vote for them? ...... Sorry. I'm not a registered voter.
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6 Mar 05 Hong Kong International Film Festival is coming again ... but unluckily, I'm not a rich guy and don't have money and time to watch all the films. Well, just pick some from the list and hope they would give me some surprise like Gus Van Sant's "Elephant" from previous festival. Claire Denis's “The Intruder” 克萊雅•丹妮〈心之潛蝕〉
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21 Feb 05 Previously unreleased journal! Just received a very nice present "NIRVANA - When The Lights Out" CD + DVD pack. Lovely! Some of the songs are the first time that I have heard. On one hand, it makes me re-confirm that Nirvana and Kurt are really the band that represents a certain period of time, the 90s, the time that I found real music... But at the same time, I start to think how many Nirvana's songs I still haven't heard before? After the death of Kurt, the music company released some of these previously unreleased stuffs almost every year. His songs, demo tapes and even his diary sold by his "lovely" wife, Love. Shit! I saw his diary when I was in London. Just picked it up, flick it for a second and then, put it back. I don't wanted to look or read every word from someone's diary, someone that has dead, someone that I admire, a poor genius ... I'm sure his wife still got many many stuffs from Kurt and of course the music company should have more songs as well. May be several months later, another previously unreleased Nirvana's songs would "finally be released"! Let me think ... one unreleased song with 12 remastered songs... or 3 previously unreleased songs with 10 classic songs + video... Wow! May be they would still release these kinds of stuffs when I reached 50 or 60. (Will I live till 50 or 60?)
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6 Jan 05 "The most important contribution that a person can give ...... is CASH!!!" George W. Bush said ... with a smile in his face. and he contributed US$ 10,000 personally to the tsunami victims. Everyone and every country is talking about how much they can give out. Everything is measured by different numbers. The dead people, the victims, the contribution (that means money) ... I wonder how much is my love, my passion, my heart ... ? 5 cent? or may be ... 0 cent?
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14 Dec 04 The Evilness and the Execution of Power 1. The politican, the environmentalist, the media and the kids have finally "convinced" the building developer to give up the idea of knocking down the newly built buildings in order to replace by some more luxurious. This's the "victory" of the public, "victory" of the power of the public, "victory" of Hong Kong. The "avaricious" businessmen are finally taking up the social "responsibilities". Have you ever think that McDonald would "kindly" increase the salary of their staff from less than $20/hr to, says $23? (just enough to buy a big mac meal!) or have you ever think that Mr.Lee Ka-shing suddenly would wholeheartedly devoted to arts and to established some world-class museums merely just because he waked up one day and while he was washing his face, looking at the mirror and, suddenly, he realized the beauty of line (wrinkles?) , the beauty of shape (bald?), the beauty of colour (??)... He himself is art and so he has to devoted all he has to ARTS! O! JESUS! I LOVE U! XXX Well, Jockey Club has established some kind of things like charity or foundation to help the gamblers stop gambling ... wait ... but who try their best to attact more people to get involve in gambling, who try their best to increase the methods of gambling, who try their best to increase their income ... It is naive and stupid to believe that businessmen would take the social responsibilies, that businessmen would not make a decision based on profit-making. May be ... O! Jockey Club. or may be it's even more naive to tell the others about this and try their best to impose or launch this. Everyday, every word on every pages of evey media, newspaper, radio, TV ,,, Those who admit to be evil are not the most evil. The most evil one is the one who says the other is ...... Hail to the Thief! Those who act in the name of goodness. (by the way, are "goodness" and "evilness" still exist? and also what do they means actually???) Those who act in the name of God. (God? O! still exists ... in this journal.) Those who act in the name of the public. Those who act in the name of art ...
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27 Sep 04 Location: A restaurant in Sogo Department Store, Causeway Bay, Hong Kong Time: Around 2pm, 26 Sep 2004 Characters: Me, the Bad Tree, a man, a woman, a bowl of noodles, a girl and her bag. I went there to have lunch with the Bad Tree. Nothing seems strange and everything seems so "normal". A couple sat next to us and of course, I can almost hear what they talked about. (and of course, I'm too curious.) A man, 25 or less, (younger than me) "$5000/ft2?. That's cheap ... sea view in the front and green mountains at the back ... I love to see that house ... He's so stupid to buy that ?? house.That doesn't worth ..................." and the girl also talked a bit. They left later ... but the noodles remained in the bowl and was left behind. ... Did or will "it" feel lonely? ... or may be is glad not to be eaten. 1 or 2 minutes later, a girl, still at her teenage, look innocent and simple, stood up and left the restaurant with her boy friend and ................ with a classic LV bag at her back as well.
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17 Sep 04 I never trust any politician. I should say that I never and shouldn't trust any actor. Election is actually not for citizen to select the "best" politican but just to select one that is not the "worst". I'm sure Anthony Leung is not the best actor in Hong Kong. Who's the best actor/actress? 1. Democrats (Democratic Party) 2. Liberalists (Liberal Party) 3. Royalists 4. All of them + all politicians Are all the politicians from Democratic Party really support democratism? or just support their interests? I remember someone said "We have to keep an eye on those who don't support democratism ... but at the same time, we have to keep another on those who act in the name of democratism. Sometimes they're even more dangerous." Democracy is the best form in the world? We should say that it's not the worst at the moment ... or may be is the worst.
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31 Aug 04 People in Hong Kong are so realistic, sometimes. (Probably not just in Hong Kong.) So many people went to the airport to welcome the olymipic silver medal winner back to the city. But how about those who lost in the games such as the former gold medal winner. You're the God and Hero if you're the winner (but remember, it's true when you're still the winner and if you lost, who are you?) Sometimes I would ask why those who can run faster means "win"? And why one lose if one runs slower? You've got the gold medal ... YOU'RE THE WINNER. You beat the others hollow ... YOU WIN. You've got the technique ... WIN AGAIN. You've got a car ... WIN. You've got a house ... WIN. You've got wives ... WIN. You've got the money ... WIN. You've got the shit ... WIN. The more you get, the more you won and the more people will remember and praise you.
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23 Aug 04 Everything seems so unstable among these weeks. I don't know why but may be ... I know a bit. My body is here in Hong Kong. My mind ...is empty for quite a long time. My soul ... what's that? EVERYONE! SAY "I LOVE HK!" "I LOVE SHIT!"
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15 Jul 04 Sometimes it's better not to say anything. (Of course, it's a contradiction to say this.) That's why I hestiate for some time and didn't write down anything. (Such a nice excuse again.) I don't like to talk or to express my ideas so much ... sometimes I wonder I've any ideas in my mind or not. It's sad that I couldn't understand you and you couldn't understand mel. May be not. It's sad that I try to find a way to understand you but I couldn't. I couldn't understand anyone else, even myself. In fact, I want to be myself ... but who's 'myself'? The guy who's now talking and writing? The mind that's now thinking? 'I' don't know. "I won't change myself and I don't want you to change as well ... " Someone said.
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25 Jun 04 "............................................................. "
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